Garfield: Lasagna of the Patriots
by Deathscytherito
Summary: Garfield is shopping for patriotic books when he receives notification that a mysterious force is attacking Washington. He discovers a secret revelation that will shake the entirety of the USA. Will our hero be able to conquer this new threat?


Garfield: Lasagna of the Patriots

It was cold, storming day in land of America, and Garfield was in Bones & Narberal somewhere in NM buying Overlord light novels because they were true patriot literature and store chain, along with copies of the American Constitution.

Garfield admired how Overlord novel was in every section, and was taped on door.

"I will buy all these." Said Garfield as he put down 100 Overlord LNs and a reproduction of the constitution on the anonymous bookseller's desk.

"Ok, that will be $1500 and the American Constitution is free because you are a true patriot." Said the bookseller with paying.

"Thank you, Bookselling Lady." Said Garfield to anonymous bookseller as he gave her presidential credit card to pay for.

As Garfield exited B&N, he climbed onto his custom all-American red, white and blue colored Harley Davidson while turning on his radio to secret presidential All-American radio channel for patriotic jamming.

As Garfield was riding down the hot American highway, startling sound came on radio.

"Garfield, this is Presidential of USA, we are in need of your help. Mysterious enemy appears with giant ship and is attacking Wahington. Please save us with your macho power." Said President of America.

"Looks like it is time for me to save day again." Said Garfield as he turned on boosters of his bike, causing him to go faster than mach 20 towards Wahington.

On way, Plebbit fans were insulting lore of Overlord on the street and carrying statue of their lord Heinz.

"All hail Heinz, he is true MC of Overlord." SAId leader of plebs.

"It is good that you are big fan of heinz, because soon the floor will be splattered with ketchup made of your blood." Said Garfield as he pushed button on his motorcycle, causing blade to extend from side of his motorcycle and cutting the plebs into pieces.

When Garfield finally reached Wahington, he saw giant mile high warship attacking. Giant robot and soldiers were shooting at civilian and American troops.

"Hahaha it is time to die little piggy." Said evil robot as it was about to crush child.

"Not so fast, bag of bolts, pick on someone of your own size." Says Garfield as grabs robot and throws it away from child.

"You have made big mistake, Garfield, now I will be BLOWwing you to smithereens!" Said robot as it began to unleash lethal payload of gun and missile at Garfield.

"I hope you there is technician around because you are about to have blue screen of death." Said Garfield slyly as he grabbed all the bullets and rockets and threw them back at robot.

"OH CRAP!" RObot curse worded as it was exploded.

"Nice bakuretsu!" Said Megumin who was nearby as she gave thumbs up to Garfield.

Garfield continued on way to giant ship, where many evil minion tried to stop him with energy blades and flamethrower.

"You cannot defet us Garfiel, we have weapon of the future." Said Cocky soldier, not knowing that the death would come sooner than expected.

However, Garfield inhaled and absorbed all of the energy and fire, and let it out in energy breath, vaporizing enemies.

"Is it hot in here or is it just me." Said Garfield with funny pun.

As he continued on, Garfield witnessed inquisitor trying to inquisite to defenseless maiden.

"Are you wtich or are you not witch" Inquisitor ruthless inquisited.

"Get away from me blubbere brainge" Said girl.

"no you are not conforming it is time for drastic mesures" said inquisitor codly

Garfield realizes what this meant.

Sexual assault.

"Inquisitor didn't they teach you not to inquisite girls?" pwned Garfield as he shot the guy through the lungs with his golden desert eagle machinegun.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" screamed inquisitor in primal pain and then the death came sooner than expected.

"Garfield, you are my hero!" Said Capella.

"You are welcome, but romancing must come later, I have job to do for American peoples." Says Garfield with explanations as he continues to roof of ship for climactic confrontation.

As Garfield reached roof, he saw mysterious cloaked figure waiting for him.

"Show yourself, vile fiend." Said Garfield with fury.

"Very well, I will show myself to you, but you may not like it." Said mysterious figure with familiar voice.

"WHAT?!" Shouted Garfield as he realized the voice of mysterious figure was same as his.

Mysterious figure threw aside cloak, revealing gray colored Garfield who looked almost exactly the same.

"…..LIQUIIIIIIID!" Screamed Garfield to the heavens.

"…SNAAAAKE!" Responded Liquid Garfield, referring to one of Garfield's secret aliases.

"It is time for endings, I will defeat you and take your place for America." Said Liquid Garfield with spite.

"Let us see you try!" Said Garfield with energy as the two took on fighting stance and launch each other at each otter.

"Show me what you've got, snake!" Said Liquid Garfield with angers.

The two began to launch blows of power at each other, and they were evenly matched at first.

"I am going to be the victor, I am everything you are and more." Said Liquid Garfield with cockiness as Lasagna Eater began to play.

(What a fill, with largeness and savoryness through the night)

(What a fill, it's piping and it'll melt in your mouth)

(With root beer to start, it's so supreme)

(I cut it with my knife, not for honor, but for you (Lasagna Eater))

(In my time, there'll be none for myself)

(Mealtime, it's the way I buy for you (Lasagna Eater))

(I'm still eating icecream, Lasagna Eater)

The two Garfields began to reach end of their fight as they began delivering blow of power to each other, causing blood of patriots to spill on floor.

Garfield delivered one last blow to Liquid Garfield with all his energy, causing his enemy to topple over.

"The battle is over, brother." Said Liquid Garfield with defeat.

"You are not my brother, person who fights against America will never be my brother." Responded Garfield with words of justice and truth.

"But you do not understand, I do fight for American. I was cloned from some of your hair that fell during battle of you against Esdeath general lady. I was made by scientist of the secret underground government in Area 51 because they did not think you would be able to defeat Nega Garfield if he ever arrived. I was supposed to be better Garfield, but my life was one of pain and experimentation, and I gained apathy to life and realized I was not truly free, unlike you. And so, I broke out and attacked to draw you out so I could feel true alive and like patriot." Said Liquid Garfiel with sadness and tragedy.

"I see, you were good person in heart after all. I will avenge you and bring justice to secret government weaklings. Farewell, you were true patriot." Said Garfield with tear in eye as Liquid Garfield began to pass. He took out lasagna cigarette, lit it, and then put it in Liquid Garfield's mouth.

"Thank you, Garfield, you are truly hero of Americas." Said Liquid Garfield as he passed away with cigar ette still in mouth.

"Sneaky government meddlers, I will not forgive you!" Said Garfield as he clenched fist in fury.

Garfield had agenda of bringing justice back to the united states government, but first he took Capella and Megumin back home in order to show them what true explosion was like, and what a being that everyone loved was like. Romancing went on as the sun began to fall. Garfield once again saved the USA of America, but at what cost?

To be continued

AN: Kojima, I am also very unhappy that scum Konami fired you, but I would be very happy to be hired by you. I think I would make a good addition for the next game you make.

PS: I am very good at Melty Blood, so if I beat you, will you please let me own your company, thank you.


End file.
